Monopoly and Sex
by CompletelyCreativeUsername
Summary: Dean decides to play monopoly. Cas, as always, is willing to play as long as the rules are followed. Half an hour later, Cas is winning and Dean rage quits.


_[A/N] This story is so good (for a crack!fic) due to my two lovely tumblr/skype friends Bop and Emily. I co-wrote and edited it with them and they are the reason there is even smut in this fic.  
__THIS FIC WAS WRITTEN AT LIKE 2 IN THE MORNING AFTER WE HAD READ THE CRACKIEST MOST DISTURBING FICS OUT THERE FOR LIKE A DAY AND THIS WAS THE RESULT OF IT SO TAKE CAUTION OR SOMETHING IT MIGHT NOT BE THE BEST.  
Co-wrote with hiiamtrish and Emily (who's username I'll get later). Thank you for reading! _

"Ok Cas, let's play some monopoly," Dean said as he rattled the board and sitting on the floor and putting the box on the coffee table, "and see if our 'profound bond' can stand the terror of monopoly."

"There is terror in a board game?" Dean looked at Cas for a moment before blinking. Sighing, he opened the box.

"Forget it, let's just play." Dean never failed to forget Cas' lack of pop culture – even with games like Monopoly. Cas looked at him and sat down as well.

"What are the rules, Dean?" Dean snapped the instruction paper straight and cleared his throat.

"Okay, so..."

After explaining all the rules to Cas and fighting over who got what piece, they were finally ready to play. "Okay, here's 200 dollars." Dean gave 200 dollars in monopoly money to Cas and himself. "Make sure to follow the rules, okay?" Cas sometimes needed such clarity on games like these.

Half an hour later, the two were still sitting at the coffee table, staring at the board. Dean had started to drum his fingers on the table loudly – Somehow, Cas was winning. "Cas, how the hell are you winning?"

"It's simple... I am following the rules that you told me." Dean rolled his eyes.

"Can you just give me board walk?"

"No Dean. You have to give me something of fair trade. It says it in the rules, remember."

"Fuck the rules Cas, just please."

"No Dean, those are the rules. You have to follow them!"

Dean muttered under his breath "Fucking Jesus Cas..."

Another half an hour and Cas owned almost every property on the board and Dean mortgaged his properties for money. "Cas, how the fuck are you winning‽"

"I am following the rules, Dean."

"Just fucking give me boardwalk!"

"No the rules Dean"

"Ugh... Fine."

Dean rolled the die irritably and watched as it landed on the go to jail spot. Of course, Cas just had to say, "Go directly to jail, do not pass go, do not collect 200 dollars" This time, Dean had had enough.

"You know what this is fucking bull shit!" He yelled angrily and flipped the game board. He stalked off into the kitchen, muttering, and got a beer. As his irritated muttering sounded out into the room, Cas listened, staring at the abandoned board. "Not fair, getting damn boardwalk and not fucking giving it to me... Bullshit..." Dean's voice echoed almost purposefully as Cas registered the words.

Quickly, Cas started to pick up on Dean's agitation himself. Getting angry because Dean ruined their perfectly fine Monopoly game and starting to bake in his own annoyance, he looked up as Dean started walking back into the room.

Why did he have to ruin that game? Cas was doing perfectly fine, winning even, and it was unfair for him that Dean refused to finish the game.

When he got back, he started telling Dean about it. "Dean, for one that was very rude. AND it was a major game violation. Why did you do it–"

"Cas, shut the fuck up about the game."

"But Dean! The game–"

"Cas, just fucking–" But Cas tried standing up, mad.

"But the Monopoly, I was going to win! You can't do that, Dean!" Cas looked at Dean, trying to be as stern as he could, and opened his mouth again to speak.

He didn't get to continue his rant, though, as Dean grabbed Cas and kissed him, half influenced by anger, and the other half... Well, it was the only way he could get him to shut up, right? Dean pulled away, in a heat.

"Yeah, well I can do that, can't I?"

The two stood still for a moment afterwards, looking at each other's eyes and lips, and suddenly, Dean couldn't resist himself.

"And..." He started leaning in, "I can do it again..." And their lips connected again, the anger still just there, simmering between them.

Dean's lips smashed into Cas', bruising them no doubt, but he didn't care. Cas grunted as the momentum threw his back into the foot of the couch. He bit back into the kiss hungrily, yearning for... revenge for the sudden end to monopoly (which he was fucking winning.) Somewhere in the back of his brain he wondered if this was a distraction from the game, but the thought on the whole of his mind was completely different.

Dean's hands were pulling down the shoulders of Cas' trench coat as he deepened the kiss, tongue jutting out to lick across Cas' lips. Cas arched his back in defiance, gripping the back of Dean's hoodie and pressing himself up to his warm chest. He sat up on his knees, pushing Dean over and breaking the kiss. Dean fell back onto the coffee table where the monopoly board had just been, his eyes wide and his mouth hanging open as he panted. He could see the angry hunger in Cas' eyes and couldn't look away, instead electing to lay there and wait for him to make the next move.

Cas removed his trench coat, still on his knees, and glared at Dean. "You ruined the game," he growled, gesturing toward the flipped board. Dean rolled his eyes. "You had Boardwalk you fucker!" he insisted, like that was a reason to end the game suddenly.

"Oh I've got better than Boardwalk," Cas hissed, spreading Dean's knees apart forcefully as he loomed over him. Dean's breath hitched in his throat, fingers itching to touch something.

Suddenly Cas launched at him, pouncing him and pinning him to the coffee table. Dean kissed him back, hard, and untucked Cas' dress shirt so he could run his hands up his back and pull him closer. Cas bit Dean's lip and drew blood. "Who's the winner, Dean?! Who followed the fucking rules?!" Dean squirmed and quickly unbuttoned and unzipped Cas' pants before he could react. Cas gasped as Dean roughly grabbed his cock and ran his hand down it over his underwear. "I would have fucking won if I hadn't kept getting jail cards!" he insisted. Cas shuddered and kissed Dean again hungrily. He gripped the bulge in Dean's sweat pants.

Dean groaned and pulled Cas' cock out of his underwear, stroking it up and down repeatedly. Cas groaned and reached his hands up Dean's shirt and pinched his perky nipples.

"FUCK!" Dean cried, fingers curling around Cas' dick and squeezing it tightly. Cas moaned breathily and shoved his hips forward and into Dean's hand. Dean struggled against Cas' fucking death grip on his nipples. Cas dropped the nipple endeavor hastily pulled Dean's out Second Blade and stroked it in the same rhythm as Dean was now stroking his.

Cas was breathing into Dean's ear now, still whispering about Boardwalk. Dean groaned and let go of Cas' hard dick, instead pulling him by his dress shirt against him, wrapping his legs around Cas' waist. Cas ground against Dean, holding himself up by the edge of the coffee table. Dean ground with Cas running their cocks against each other, Dean running his hands all over Cas' shoulder and anywhere else he could reach, Cas holding on to the table for dear life and still mocking Dean right in his ear.

Cas could feel it slowly building, he bit his lip and growled as the sensation rose. Dean fisted his hands in Cas' hair, sending him straight over the edge. "Shiiiit," Cas said through his teeth. He came all over Dean's dick and exposed stomach and hoodie. He bit into Dean's shoulder and Dean bucked his back, coming all over.

"It's everywhere, fuck," Dean whined, gasping for air.

Cas collapsed over Dean.

"Quite literally, too." Dean chuckled, drawing small circles in Cas' back with his finger.

"I think this is a fair trade for the boardwalk, yeah Cas?" Cas looked up and narrowed his eyes in confusion.

"Wait... Did you only do all this to get the boardwalk?" Dean laughed as Cas' sapphire-blue eyes became increasingly clouded over.

"Well..." He started, grinning mischievously. In an instant, Cas had jumped up, pulling his trousers straight. Anger was almost visibly radiating off of his persona.

"I... I can't believe you – you did... you did all of this for a fucking piece on the game?" He turned his back to Dean and fumbled with his trousers, face red and hands slipping.

They were suddenly steadied, though, as a pair of Calloused hands slid around from behind and held them. Blood rushed all the way up to Cas' ears as he heard Dean chuckle.

"You know, Cas..."

"What?"

"You are really gullible, hmm?" Cas turned his head in confusion.

"What do you mean, Dean?" Dean's low voice sounded warmly in his ear.

"I mean that I no longer really want the Boardwalk all for myself. We can both win..." Dean hated sharing, but on this occasion, it didn't seem a problem.

"And you can walk on my Boardwalk any time you like."


End file.
